It can be distracting, obnoxious, and I'll admit, sometimes very intriguing. A world without drama wouldn't be figure skating. In an individual sport such as this one, you're bound to have your fair share of drama as tensions run high. And it most certainly doesn't help that figure skating is a sport overrun by raging levels of estrogen. Rink drama is an integral part of any figure skaters experience, whether it be during practice, at competitions, or even up in the bleachers with parents. It seems that every rink deals with it's fair share of unavoidable drama. The question isn't how can we eliminate it (because we all know that is going to be impossible) but how can we ignore it.Drama comes in all forms. From the coaches yelling at other skaters to move out of their own students ways, to parents up in the stands gossiping, to music thieves, choreography copy-cats, and catty behavior on the ice between skaters. We all know the famous story of how Tonya Harding hired a hit-man to take out Nancy Kerrigan, and lets be honest, the drama in Blades of Glory isn't too far fetched. Sometimes, it can feel more like roller derby than figure skating. It can be difficult in a world clouded by gossip, petty arguments and shrieking parents to focus solely on training and that is one of the many challenges of the sport. We all know them, the skaters, parents, and coaches that seek out drama and feed on it. It's easy to get irritated or hot headed when a skater pushes past yelling "EXCUSEEE MEEE" when you're the one doing a run through.
Not that long ago I was at a competition and there were only two other ladies in my event. The first girl to take the ice had a clean skate, landing both of her planned triples and both of her double axles, one in combination. When she skated off, breathing heavy and looking impressed with herself I heard her coach say, loudly enough for everyone to hear, "alright, lets wrap this thing up, she skated clean", implying that she had already won. The thing that bothered me about this was not the comment itself but the volume at which it was spoken. The fact that he said it loud enough for the other competitors, myself included, to hear meant that it was intended to be a "psych-out", a discouraging remark made in the attempts to throw us off our game. It was something very small and petty, but something all too common. How many times have we seen that coach in the big fur coat with the over made up face sneering at other skaters in the locker room, guessing at our abilities with judgmental eyes? I know my answer to this question would be plenty of times.
I think the drama stems from something deeper than the estrogen and goes way down to the nature of the sport. This kind of drama is also common in horse-back riding, dancing (Dance Moms anyone?), golf, gymnastics, etc. Notice a pattern? These are all individual sports. An individual sport is defined as simply, "a sport in which participants compete as individuals." The lack of team camaraderie forces skaters to fend for themselves and they often feel alone or isolated. Without a team to support them or a team to represent, skaters have only themselves and the competition becomes much more personal. It is not my team against your team, but rather ME against YOU. This competition does not only happen at formal events, but is also very common at practice. MY jumps are better than YOUR jumps. MY daughter is better than YOUR daughter.
To tell you to ignore the drama is so much easier said than done. It is hard to look the other way, to laugh in the face of those who mock you, or even to "kill with kindness". When that coach stops in the middle of the rink to stare at your footwork sequence and then proceeds to begin teaching it to his own student, it is difficult not to become infuriated. What you need to do is center yourself. Ask yourself a few key questions:
1. Do I skate for me? Or do I skate for them? (hopefully the answer will be that you skate for YOU, because YOU love it)
2. Do I really, truly, genuinely, deep-down care about what other people think of me? Or do I skate because I love it?
3. What will getting angry achieve? Will I be more productive if I do another long program or if I spend 5 minutes brooding at the wall imagining myself blading that coach?
Once you have your answers, take it to the ice. Let your emotions out in your skating rather than keeping them stuffed up in your head. Skate harder, work harder, try harder.
If your drama comes from parents gossiping you may have to approach this one carefully. If it is your own parent you can politely ask them to keep you out of it. Tell them that it doesn't bother you what Sally-Sue's daughter is doing and that you'd rather if they didn't tell you.
Your best bet in face-to face confrontational drama is just to smile and nod. It will irritate the instigator even more that you don't seem to be getting angry. You could be absolutely fuming on the inside, burning up with rage, but do not show it. This will only encourage further provocation. At one point in my skating career the drama felt as if it was becoming too much for me and not only was I letting it get to me, I was getting sucked into it and becoming too much apart of it. My dad told me this joke and it really cheered me up and gave me a new technique.
"Two southern ladies are sitting at the country club by the pool. The first southern lady says, "When I had my first child, my husband bought me a diamond ring." The second lady says, "Well, isn't that nice."
The first lady says, "When my second child was born, my husband took me on a cruise." The second lady says,''well isn't that nice." The first lady continues, "When my third child was born, my husband took me on a trip around the world." And the second lady says, once again, "Well, isn't that nice."
The first lady asks, "Well, what did your husband get you when your first child was born?" The second lady replies, "My husband sent me to etiquette school." The first lady asks, "Well why did he do that?" And the second lady says, "So I could learn to say ‘Well isn't that nice,’ instead of ‘F&*$ YOU’!"I hope that if you are dealing with any drama at your rink that you can find a way to say "Well isn't that nice" and skate because you love it. Try to put all the nonsense aside, the clothes, the hair, the make-up, the parents, the other skaters and skate for YOU because YOU love it.
Best of Luck!
